Dating 101

When did it become acceptable for men to treat their friends as people they are interested in dating? This weekend, I have had countless friends tell me that they too are confused by this. They continually question whether the guy is just a friend who enjoys flirting with them or if the guy is genuinely interested. What’s worse is if the guy knows that you like him and still engages in this type of behavior. Sometimes I really feel like asking if “Are you talking/flirting with me just for your amusement purposes?” In my opinion, it is just plain selfish and detestable if you use someone as one of the clowns in your personal circus. Is there some sort of test that you can give to figure out a guy’s motives? Clearly a bunch of women missed this lesson in dating 101…

Victoria's Secret is Now Elle's

I was having a conversation with my friend Kelly about the Victoria's Secret fashion show and it was pretty funny so I thought I would share.

Elle: Are you planning on watching the Victoria's Secret fashion show tonight?
Kelly: Yup, I got a flyer when I was in the store today.
Elle: cool. Those skinny hoes are about to make me feel bad about my dietary choices though
Kelly: I know! I'm turning my life around.
Elle: haha, Victoria's Secret is saving one soul at a time.
Elle: I wonder if i put on a pair of over sized wings and stilettos can i get any man i want?
Kelly: hahaha, that's why I don't have a man! I need wings.

So I wonder where a girl could potentially buy a pair of wings... hmm, maybe I'm going to need Selita's personal trainer and dedication as well :)

Cardinal Sin

I'm about to commit the Cardinal Sin in terms of Chronicles of Elle and actually write a piece in favor of men! I know, the horror! I was thinking about what women expect out of relationships and think there is somewhat of an imbalance. We want a man who's a stereotypical gentleman…brings us flowers, pays for the first date, opens our doors, walk on the outside of the street, pick up the tab when we are out drinking, etc. These are all stereotypes that most women swoon at when they recount dates with their friends. However, when a guy says he wants a woman to do anything stereotypically feminine (i.e domestic), we look at him like he's crazy and a chauvinist pig. Is there really something inherently wrong with cooking or cleaning for a man if he appreciates it and deserves it? Sometimes I think women are so concerned with not being taken advantage of that we strive to do everything to go against these types of activities. I know because I used to do the same thing…I used to think that doing anything remotely domestic for a man was a sign of weakness and dependence. Now at the ripe age of 25, I'm starting to realize that in moderation there really isn't anything wrong with it. If the guy you're dating appreciates you cooking and you don't mind, why not go ahead a do it. He probably doesn't ask you to pay for dinner most of the time and even buys your friends a round of drinks when you are all hanging out. The point of doing something nice for someone is to do something he or she would like…not just something you want to do for them. I think what it comes down to is that a man needs to feel like a man and a woman like a woman sometimes.

No, I'm not advocating women being barefoot, pregnant and in the kitchen because that's her job but I think we have gone to the other extreme in many cases purposely avoiding certain activities out of fear of appearing that way. Women did not want society dictating what they did with their lives and being undervalued, hence the women's movement. I'm all for women in boardrooms, operating rooms, courthouse etc., but aren't we essentially letting society dictate our lives again by thinking this is the only acceptable way to act? To me many women fought to have the right to simply have the option to make their own decisions. If they want to lead highly independent lives climbing the professional ladder that's fabulous, but why can't that same woman take just as much pleasure out of cooking her man a gourmet meal? Maybe I'm the only one who feels this way, but I would be curious as to hear what other people have to say about this issue…

Start Being Selfish

Knowing that I write a blog on relationships and men, my friend recently bought me a book entitled , "How to Set his Thighs on Fire", written by the Cosmo Editor in Chief Kate White. Well, let me just say that the book is filled with a bunch of bogus crap and I can't believe that women take what she wrote to heart. There are about 100 chapters dedicated mostly to relationship and sex advice that she has learned throughout the course of her career and life. I'm not quite sure what makes her an expert on either, but I suppose that because her magazine is filled with columns of similar content, she felt that she was qualified to write a book. There was one post that actually suggests placing a donut around a guy's member and eat it off and another that suggests dumping cold marbles on your bed prior to the act. I actually ran this by a guy and he promptly responded with please don't ever do that to anyone with a look of complete confusion.

I personally think instead of writing about how to please a man, she should have been more focused on teaching women how to please ourselves, since this is the area in which I think we are deficient. Women have serious problems in always wanting to make sure a man is satisfied when in reality a man will get to that point regardless 99% of the time. A lot of women on the other hand have no idea how to please themselves sexually, which was even more evident after I saw Oprah yesterday and a sex therapist was on the show. I was amazed by how many women do not know their own physical anatomy and yet we expect men to know?! That doesn't even make sense, so I think we all need to take an interest in trying to understand and please ourselves. Many times we put our feelings to the side and think, "I wonder what I can do to make him happy" or "I wonder if he thinks I'm sexy". Let me educate you all on something, if he wasn't happy or attracted to you, he wouldn't be there at all. So, start being more selfish and work on making you happy :)

Odd Couples

I was walking down the street today, enjoying my last week off before classes begin and noticed something rather interesting. Most couples that I encountered were not what I would call on the same level ...physically. In almost every situation one person was substantially more attractive than the other and that seemed strange to me at the time. To clarify, I'm not as superficial as you might think after reading this post and will be the first to admit that I prefer other qualities that are definitely more important than appearance. However, I've always subconsciously divided people into 3 distinct categories in terms of appearance: 1. universally attractive 2. universally unattractive 3. The middles which could float either way depending on the person.
You would think that the universally un/attractive people would naturally gravitate towards each other. Furthermore, it has been scientifically proven that we like people that happen to look like ourselves, but it just didn't seem to work out that way during my walk. Maybe the unsuperficial qualities about a person trumps the superficial in most cases, which I really hope is true. If that's the case then I'm not sure why American culture is so preoccupied by outward beauty. Do you even think the people in the relationships realize that either they are the pretty or ugly one? That's seems a bit harsh, but this is my blog and I didn't feel like rephrasing haha. Anyway, I'm just curious to see if any of you know why this may happen...

KO...Trickery or Genius?

Margarita was entirely stoked when she found out she got a reservation at the ultra exclusive New York City restaurant named KO. Apparently the restaurant seats only 12 people, the chef decides what he wants to serve to everyone, and you have to reserve a spot online at 10am each day regardless of your social standing. She and her little sister, Martini (aka Catchy, I just like Martini better hehe), tried this for 8 weeks until she finally snagged a spot. Yay Margarita! So after looking at the menu I was completely mystified and this was the conversation that followed:

Me: don't worry about trying to get that extra KO ticket for me; they would have to pay me to eat there.
Margarita: lol
Me: english muffin with pork fat???
wtf is wrong with you two
pork belly and oysters
shaved foie gras
omg omg omg!!
u better hope they serve that deep fried apple pie and short rib option LOLOLOLOL
Margarita: Mmm it will be yummy; David Chang [the chef] does magic...or so I'm told.
Me: Don't believe the hype
Margarita: ...but i do. If it took 2 months to get rezzies; there must be some truth.
Me: I think he's the smartest man in ny. He managed to trick the entire city of nyc! It's like the emperor's wardrobe story. And the place looks like a hole in the wall...he's probably laughing all the way to the bank everyday.
Margarita: hahahaha
me: duped
Margarita: no, it will be glorious...we shall take pictures

Oh and she's taking her sister "Martini" with her extra ticket and when Martini looked at the menu this was her response:


Martini: omg Margarita ...im scared i just saw everything they served...runny hen egg?!?! sashimi?
Margarita: lol but it will be yummy!
Martini: ahhhhhh...omg Mr. Chang is gonna kick me out of KO bc i'm a picky eater. This is going to be like an episode of fear factor!
Me: yo....that place is ripping ppl off
you can't even freaking order anything...u just gotta eat what he feels like cooking!!
you and M have gotta be the craziest ppl on earth along with the other thousand of ppl who wake up every morning to apply for a resservation LOLOLOL

Your kid is not Davinci...

I'm pretty sure my coworkers are obsessed with their kids beyond any natural or sane level. It isn't hard to notice who has a kid and who doesn't on my floor. There is artwork decorated with crayons, markers, or pastels in practically every office or cubicle. It really is annoying because it's just a celebration of mediocrity in my opinion. That's fine if you want to tell your kids how great of an artist he or she is for the piece of crap that they created but don't subject everyone at work to more than 1 or 2 pieces. Just put it on your fridge for the only people in the world who actually appreciate it…you, your significant other and the kid.
I recently strolled to the back side of the floor during one of my periods of boredom and walked by this particular office, only to have to backtrack and stare in complete awe. This lady had at least 5 pictures of crappy kid artwork hanging on her walls…some of it even framed!! On her desk she had construction paper hearts speckled with bright tissue paper next to boats made out of popsicle sticks. These are just a few of the items she had and judging from the pictures on her desk, she only had one kid! God knows what her office would look like if she procreates again. Don't get me wrong, I think it's great that she loves her kids so much, but nobody wants to see all that stuff when they walk by your office. Furthermore, I think it's a tad unprofessional. So your boss walks in and it looks like she just walked into peewee's playhouse.
This other coworker around the corner from me has these monster size blown- up photos of her sons all over the walls of her cubicle. I purposely take the path to get to my desk that can avoid seeing them each morning. It's just creepy looking and I feel like ripping them down each time I walk in to work. On the other hand, I do feel bad for the lady who apparently doesn't have any kids. To compensate, she has about 12 pictures of her dogs and cats decorating her cubicle and it's just sad to say the least.