Odd Couples

I was walking down the street today, enjoying my last week off before classes begin and noticed something rather interesting. Most couples that I encountered were not what I would call on the same level ...physically. In almost every situation one person was substantially more attractive than the other and that seemed strange to me at the time. To clarify, I'm not as superficial as you might think after reading this post and will be the first to admit that I prefer other qualities that are definitely more important than appearance. However, I've always subconsciously divided people into 3 distinct categories in terms of appearance: 1. universally attractive 2. universally unattractive 3. The middles which could float either way depending on the person.
You would think that the universally un/attractive people would naturally gravitate towards each other. Furthermore, it has been scientifically proven that we like people that happen to look like ourselves, but it just didn't seem to work out that way during my walk. Maybe the unsuperficial qualities about a person trumps the superficial in most cases, which I really hope is true. If that's the case then I'm not sure why American culture is so preoccupied by outward beauty. Do you even think the people in the relationships realize that either they are the pretty or ugly one? That's seems a bit harsh, but this is my blog and I didn't feel like rephrasing haha. Anyway, I'm just curious to see if any of you know why this may happen...

KO...Trickery or Genius?

Margarita was entirely stoked when she found out she got a reservation at the ultra exclusive New York City restaurant named KO. Apparently the restaurant seats only 12 people, the chef decides what he wants to serve to everyone, and you have to reserve a spot online at 10am each day regardless of your social standing. She and her little sister, Martini (aka Catchy, I just like Martini better hehe), tried this for 8 weeks until she finally snagged a spot. Yay Margarita! So after looking at the menu I was completely mystified and this was the conversation that followed:

Me: don't worry about trying to get that extra KO ticket for me; they would have to pay me to eat there.
Margarita: lol
Me: english muffin with pork fat???
wtf is wrong with you two
pork belly and oysters
shaved foie gras
omg omg omg!!
u better hope they serve that deep fried apple pie and short rib option LOLOLOLOL
Margarita: Mmm it will be yummy; David Chang [the chef] does magic...or so I'm told.
Me: Don't believe the hype
Margarita: ...but i do. If it took 2 months to get rezzies; there must be some truth.
Me: I think he's the smartest man in ny. He managed to trick the entire city of nyc! It's like the emperor's wardrobe story. And the place looks like a hole in the wall...he's probably laughing all the way to the bank everyday.
Margarita: hahahaha
me: duped
Margarita: no, it will be glorious...we shall take pictures

Oh and she's taking her sister "Martini" with her extra ticket and when Martini looked at the menu this was her response:


Martini: omg Margarita ...im scared i just saw everything they served...runny hen egg?!?! sashimi?
Margarita: lol but it will be yummy!
Martini: ahhhhhh...omg Mr. Chang is gonna kick me out of KO bc i'm a picky eater. This is going to be like an episode of fear factor!
Me: yo....that place is ripping ppl off
you can't even freaking order anything...u just gotta eat what he feels like cooking!!
you and M have gotta be the craziest ppl on earth along with the other thousand of ppl who wake up every morning to apply for a resservation LOLOLOL

Your kid is not Davinci...

I'm pretty sure my coworkers are obsessed with their kids beyond any natural or sane level. It isn't hard to notice who has a kid and who doesn't on my floor. There is artwork decorated with crayons, markers, or pastels in practically every office or cubicle. It really is annoying because it's just a celebration of mediocrity in my opinion. That's fine if you want to tell your kids how great of an artist he or she is for the piece of crap that they created but don't subject everyone at work to more than 1 or 2 pieces. Just put it on your fridge for the only people in the world who actually appreciate it…you, your significant other and the kid.
I recently strolled to the back side of the floor during one of my periods of boredom and walked by this particular office, only to have to backtrack and stare in complete awe. This lady had at least 5 pictures of crappy kid artwork hanging on her walls…some of it even framed!! On her desk she had construction paper hearts speckled with bright tissue paper next to boats made out of popsicle sticks. These are just a few of the items she had and judging from the pictures on her desk, she only had one kid! God knows what her office would look like if she procreates again. Don't get me wrong, I think it's great that she loves her kids so much, but nobody wants to see all that stuff when they walk by your office. Furthermore, I think it's a tad unprofessional. So your boss walks in and it looks like she just walked into peewee's playhouse.
This other coworker around the corner from me has these monster size blown- up photos of her sons all over the walls of her cubicle. I purposely take the path to get to my desk that can avoid seeing them each morning. It's just creepy looking and I feel like ripping them down each time I walk in to work. On the other hand, I do feel bad for the lady who apparently doesn't have any kids. To compensate, she has about 12 pictures of her dogs and cats decorating her cubicle and it's just sad to say the least.

Cubicle Code of Ethics

I’m going to veer off my usual topics to write about something that has been annoying me to no end lately. So my boss, I call him Pop-In because he is a fan of randomly popping his head into my cubicle to ask for status reports or just to talk about anything under the sun whenever the whim hits him, has this nasty habit of invading my cubicle space. Yesterday he did this and it was beyond awkward considering after I finished telling him about the status of my current assignment, he kind of just stood there bobbing his head and saying, “yep” for another 5 minutes. This uncomfortable encounter is usually limited to every 3 to 4 days, which makes it bearable. However, this morning he popped in again!! This time he began to ask me how my night went. WTH…I’m not discussing my personal life with my boss on any level. Imagine if I told him what I really did: met a stranger at the bar, went home with him only to find out he was a SVP at a Fortune 500…ok, so that didn't really happen to me but hey!...a girl can dream.
Regardless, it made me think why people don’t think before they invade someone’s space. Yes, I work out of a cubicle, but just b/c I’m out in the open does not give everyone the right to make me have a conversation with them whenever the mood hits them. When he doesn’t feel like being bothered, he just shuts his door. This is so unfair and I think people should observe the following code of cubicle ethics in the office:

1. Always send an email prior to just stopping by for status updates. This gives the person enough time to contrive some story of their progress, even if they were just on people.com or facebook for the past hour. Putting people on the spot is just not cool at all
2. If I have my headphones on and what you have to say is not important, just go in your office and revert back to rule #1.
3. If I’m on the phone, even if it is a personal call, do not stand there and just wait for me to get off.
4. It is rude to place a subordinate’s cubicle directly in front of their boss. Constant minimizing of windows that aren't work related gets really annoying and lets be honest, everyone slacks off 50% of the day.
5. Just because you have to walk by someone’s cube to get to a common area, do not look into their space every time you walk by. It makes the person feel like you’re keeping tabs on her. Keep your eyes forward!

Geez, I really hate to have written this but I just felt like it needed to be put out there. Some days it really makes me want to dig a hole in the floor and escape. (Since my boss is across from me I can't walk out and leave without him seeing me) I might just decide to buy one of those “Do Not Disturb” signs to hang on the outside of my cubicle to prevent all of this.

Dating...Positives and Negatives

Courtesy of Margarita for a little briefing about our collaboration- "Elle and I were debating the ins and outs of dating in your 20s, or more specifically what are the pros and cons of being single, unattached females in two different metropolitan cities, Boston and New York. Discounting slight regional differences, men are the same everywhere. She took the con side (initially, I was indifferent to which side I argued but once I started to think about it, I found it was much easier to find negatives in the situation than positives), and I set out to prove why dating in your 20s is the funnest thing ever. There has to be reasons why we continually subject ourselves to awkward conversations with relative male strangers, because honestly, I really do love dating! The question is, Why?"

Ok...now here are my list of negatives:

1. Awkward first date dinner interviews. I actually refuse to go to dinner on first dates for this exact reason. When I eat, I like to do so comfortably without the awkwardness of someone staring down my throat looking for a response to a completely asinine question that I thought was rhetorical. Not to mention the food in teeth situation which eliminates salads, veggies,etc. Girls also do stupid things like trying to squeeze into clothing that doesn't quite fit, so you really try to avoid anything with pasta, bread or anything carb related…hmm…what's left?
2. Always having to wear semi respectable undergarment sets that match. Even though I've heard numerous times from men, that they couldn't care less about this; we women still feel the need to follow through with this tradition.
3. Constant make up application…god forbid the person you're dating see you without mascara and lipgloss! The horror!
4. Comfortable clothes are a taboo even though you're just sitting around your or his apt. You have to find something that's cute and casual even though you want to wear the scrubs that you kept from your old bf who was in med school and a big t-shirt you stole from your dad's closet.
5. Avoiding topics that are worthwhile in hopes of not offending or scaring the person (i.e. politics, religion, your dysfunctional family stories).
6. Sexual confusion…not orientation hopefully, but do you kiss him after the first date? Have sex after a month and if you do will he think you're easy? You have to time these things perfectly, almost like cooking a soufflé. Take it out too early or late and it's ruined.
7. Holiday gifts-always difficult when you just started dating someone. Should you get someone something for his birthday, even though you've only been dating him for like a month? I think a card should be sufficient but then when your birthday rolls around a few weeks later he gets you an actual gift. Now you feel embarrassed and like a complete cheap ass.
8. Bodily function-enough said.
9. Worrying about morning appearance. If you stay over, you have to think of things like morning breath, messed up hair, shower situation (do you take one there or go home), etc
10. Walk of Shame…if you are just dating you probably don't have a drawer or stash of extra clothes over the guy's house. As such, you are forced to go outside the next morning wearing whatever party outfit you had on the prior night. Reminder to self…never do this on Halloween. Walking outside as a 25 year old whored-out girlscout wouldn't be a good look for anyone…

**OK...now go check our Margarita's side! http://www.smoresandmargaritas.blogspot.com/

Boys and Boston

I was out last night with a friend who was visiting from out of town and I must say that I am thoroughly annoyed with the young male population in Boston. First of all, I didn't even really want to socialize...just wanted to go out with my girl, have a drink and go home. When we arrived at the venue, we ran into a guy that my friend previously dated. The friend, who we didn't really like to begin with due to overt arrogance, had a guy friend with him. I knew immediately that I was going to have to force myself to converse simply to be cordial and not come off as socially inept. I generally hate having to be a wing woman, when I'm not in the mood to flirt shamelessly with people I don't even like. Anyway, so I proceed to talk with him, asking the usual..."so what do you do here in Boston, work or school?" "how old are you?" This boy immediately starts to sweat and states that he feels like he's on an interview. Umm, I don't know what type of interviews he's been on but I've never been asked two questions, nor ones of those caliber. He must be SOL during an actual interview. So I stopped asking him questions, per his request, and he just stared at me out of confusion. I started thinking ...didn't this boy just ask me to refrain from asking him questions? Perhaps I misunderstood and out of sheer awkwardness I tried to figure out something to talk about that didn't require too much intellectual exertion. As such, I did happen to notice he was wearing one of those livestrong plastic bracelets in black and here is how the remainder of the conversation played out:

Me: Oh, you have one of those bracelets. I've never seen a black one, what does it mean?
Boy: Excellence
Me: *smile* Very nice, so I'm assuming you try to strive for excellence in your life huh
Boy: No, not really
Me: Wow **proceed to turn around and discontinue the conversation**

That was the ultimate turnoff, even as a friendly conversation and he didn't even realize it. Do you think a lack of ambition impresses girls?! What is wrong with men in Boston! I'm going to help you guys out with a short list of the qualities and traits that girls like:

*Ambition
*Intelligence
*Humor
*Generosity...if you go buy yourself a drink, offer to buy one for her as well jerk.
*Little bit of Swagger (for those of you who don't know what this is...it's just confidence splashed with a hint of charisma and charm)
*Non-jackass tendencies ( do not talk to other girls in the process of trying to pick up another)

You're welcome and I will be expecting my e-card thank yous in my mailbox within a week.