Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Cardinal Sin

I'm about to commit the Cardinal Sin in terms of Chronicles of Elle and actually write a piece in favor of men! I know, the horror! I was thinking about what women expect out of relationships and think there is somewhat of an imbalance. We want a man who's a stereotypical gentleman…brings us flowers, pays for the first date, opens our doors, walk on the outside of the street, pick up the tab when we are out drinking, etc. These are all stereotypes that most women swoon at when they recount dates with their friends. However, when a guy says he wants a woman to do anything stereotypically feminine (i.e domestic), we look at him like he's crazy and a chauvinist pig. Is there really something inherently wrong with cooking or cleaning for a man if he appreciates it and deserves it? Sometimes I think women are so concerned with not being taken advantage of that we strive to do everything to go against these types of activities. I know because I used to do the same thing…I used to think that doing anything remotely domestic for a man was a sign of weakness and dependence. Now at the ripe age of 25, I'm starting to realize that in moderation there really isn't anything wrong with it. If the guy you're dating appreciates you cooking and you don't mind, why not go ahead a do it. He probably doesn't ask you to pay for dinner most of the time and even buys your friends a round of drinks when you are all hanging out. The point of doing something nice for someone is to do something he or she would like…not just something you want to do for them. I think what it comes down to is that a man needs to feel like a man and a woman like a woman sometimes.


No, I'm not advocating women being barefoot, pregnant and in the kitchen because that's her job but I think we have gone to the other extreme in many cases purposely avoiding certain activities out of fear of appearing that way. Women did not want society dictating what they did with their lives and being undervalued, hence the women's movement. I'm all for women in boardrooms, operating rooms, courthouse etc., but aren't we essentially letting society dictate our lives again by thinking this is the only acceptable way to act? To me many women fought to have the right to simply have the option to make their own decisions. If they want to lead highly independent lives climbing the professional ladder that's fabulous, but why can't that same woman take just as much pleasure out of cooking her man a gourmet meal? Maybe I'm the only one who feels this way, but I would be curious as to hear what other people have to say about this issue…

3 comments:

A Margarita said...

One of my favorite kinds of dates is me cooking a gourmet meal for a man, and I don't think there's anything wrong with me wanting to do that.

it's not a Cardinal Sin. Men sometimes have redeeming qualities ;)

Unknown said...

I have no problem at all doing nice things for a man...who has earned it. When women begin catering to a man too soon, it becomes under appreciated and expected. While I don't believe in keeping a tally, we all know what it feels like when one person is putting in all the work. I'm looking for balance in my life.

Elle said...

Yes, I definitely believe it's okay as long as the guy is worth it :)