So I was thinking about *ahem* sexual favors and expectations and quite frankly I'm a little confused. Granted, I'm 25 yrs old and am well aware of the quid pro quo generally associated with the act, but considering how frequently it is offered these days...I'm trying to get some clarification. Let's be real, some men give out favors as frequently as politicians give out bumper stickers. I truely think this type of gift has replaced the whole gesture of flowers and candy sometimes. Not that I'm complaining, but when you give a girl flowers and candy do you ever expect her to give you the same in return? Probably not. Men are quick to offer the favor and then when you don't reciprocate are just as quick to call you selfish. Are women supposed to know that men expect a gift in return, even if he said one wasn't required prior to the act?
As such, it got me thinking...Do men think that giving sexual favors should be more like birthdays or Christmas? Is it just known that there is a mutual exchange of gifts, or is it ever ok for me to accept my gift and say thank you with a smile and a hug, as I would do on my birthday. I'm starting to think that some men are just being sneaky twits when they say "don't worry about it" thinking that either she'd return the favor or do something more. I don't know how they were raised but my mother always told me that you really should say what you mean and mean what you say...so I don't really understand the problem. Why do men think a woman is selfish if she didn't even ask for him to do it in the first place! Maybe as women we really should enforce the 'No" the second and third time he offers. When you think about it though, this isn't even logical if the first gift was beyond amazing...that would be equivalent to me turning down a gift knowing that last year's gift was a prada wallet. Besides...it's bad manners to look at gift horse in the mouth :-)
**Just a devils advocate piece...not condoning casually accepting favors unless that's what you want to do and if it is...do you!
As such, it got me thinking...Do men think that giving sexual favors should be more like birthdays or Christmas? Is it just known that there is a mutual exchange of gifts, or is it ever ok for me to accept my gift and say thank you with a smile and a hug, as I would do on my birthday. I'm starting to think that some men are just being sneaky twits when they say "don't worry about it" thinking that either she'd return the favor or do something more. I don't know how they were raised but my mother always told me that you really should say what you mean and mean what you say...so I don't really understand the problem. Why do men think a woman is selfish if she didn't even ask for him to do it in the first place! Maybe as women we really should enforce the 'No" the second and third time he offers.
**Just a devils advocate piece...not condoning casually accepting favors unless that's what you want to do and if it is...do you!
4 comments:
I guess the best thing I can say is nobody (men especially) likes to get the short end of the stick. But you're right, maybe guys shouldn't offer if they aren't going to get anything in return.
Birthdays! If you insist repeatedly, it would be rude to say no!
Definitely birthdays! Don't get me wrong, I like giving gifts too. But, it's only once in a while that two people's birthdays fall on the same day. ;-)
In my opinion men just shouldn't offer in hopes of getting something in return. I believe that the best thing involved with the act is that it's intended to be an unselfish act and by expecting something in return you take that away. I believe this goes both ways too for the record haha! *Love Tia's comment btw...so true!
Post a Comment