Boys and Burners

So I received a hysterical call from one of my friends last week in the midst of her panic attack that was induced by the fear that she was going to end up alone. My first inclination was to reassure her that she wasn’t and that she still has plenty of time to find someone because she’s only 24. I failed to mention the fact that I just read in a Glamour magazine that the average age most women marry is 25. After reading the article my initial reaction was “cut the crap”…only people in the Midwest marry that young and I will discard this erroneous statistic as soon as I finish reading the do’s and don’t section for this spring. After reconsidering however, I may be in more trouble than I previously thought.Many of my friends are in really serious relationships that may definitely lead to marriage. I on the other hand, go through a cycle:1. Date someone I really don’t like all that much.2. Convince myself that I really do like them for various reasons.3. Six months later realize it’s not working.My saving grace is that I keep men on burners. Every woman should know the concept of a burner since men regularly do this to ensure their future happiness. Think of it like a stove…you put the pots you’re actually using on burners that are closest to you. Sometimes, if you’re lazy like I am, pots that you used a month ago are still located on those back burners until I am ready to use them again. I routinely do this with men so that I can hang out with them months after I proclaim, “this isn’t working for me.” The only problem with this is that you have to pray to God that you watch the pot you’re currently using very carefully to ensure that it does not overflow onto the rest of the stove. If too much liquid gets into the other burners, you may have to spring for another stove…and no one likes to have all their work/effort go in vain. My advice is to pay close attention and put a lid on the ones currently in use.